It is not easy to decide to terminate a marriage, especially when children are involved.

So many times, to bring ourselves to decide to finally dissolve a marriage we must first "demonize" our spouse or our child's other parent to motivate us to act on the feelings we put into our heart.

Fear passes through our desire for happiness like cold chilly winds making life a chaotic adventure.

In the midst of this we are torn between our love for ourselves, our love for the possibilities our life might still hold and the clear intellectual knowledge that we are about to create the unthinkable for the very children who depend on us for every lesson life has to offer.

There are those of us with the self acceptance to admit that their own self interest comes above the effects that dissolution will have on our children.

Yet there are many who, though acknowledging that staying is no longer an option, simply refuse to abandon their children to "self heal" and persevere on their own.  There are also those whose sense of responsibility drives them to seek an alternative to the fate that studies reveal are lurking for their children. 

Through the years when I would hear a client say, "it is killing me what this is doing to my children", I would search for ways to help them through the process as painlessly for the children as I could. Unfortunately, that was not always the choice I made in the adversarial courtroom environment.

I have seen what an ongoing war of revenge played out on the heads of ones children can do to those very children.

I have seen the effects of parents who claim to act for their children, while clinging to a tenuous hold on their last remaining meaningful human relationship.  While at the same time defending their actions in the name of the children's "best interests".

I believe I have found a way to accomplish that through this method.

If my clients will take the information I will give them into their heart, I have absolute certainty that they can dissolve their relationship cooperatively through alternative dispute resolution methods but with more than a simple division of assets and responsibility. They can walk away from the relationship better people, more caring parents, and offer to their children understanding at a greater level than at any time in their lives.